01:47 29-08-2005 Йистория.
Призрак собрался писать снова финшн. Но не фан. Причем уже пишу...ну то есть нацарапала основной сюжет, в страницу текста, на инглише. Эту вещь я порывалась написать очень давно...пожалуй сколько себя помню) но каждый раз, начиная писать, не могла выбрать на каком языке...(вам бы мои проблемы, нэ?)
Вот пока на инглише, на ломаном с кучей очепяток, кому не жалко времени взгляните, стоит ли это развивать?
If I can find time to write it properly, in a develloped and a more poetical way, with some action, I'll post it as a deviation. For the moment it's just a story I had in mind fro ages and that's where my characters come from...
Chapter 1: Ancient times.
The 9 guardians existed before the world happend to be craeted, but they made an oath to forget what has been before. The 9 domains of nature are: Darkness, Light, Death, Life, Conflict, Time, Mind, Space, Harmony.
Each and every one of them has his own powers attached to his domain, that noone else can use, expept for the Guardian of Harmony, who has the power to reign on any domain, Azrael is the concentration of ultimate power but he has sworn to use it only in order to protect the integrity of their worl, the balance between it's parts.
Guardians are immortal spirits, but wear physical bodies that can die. Only the Guardain of Death has the power to set a new body for a spirit, if it's immortal.
Each Guardian has his own clan: a small population concentrated on one single world (star system) gifted with some powers of it's master, but still mortal. Azrael, as the Guardian of Harmony, has created the Human race: creatures that do not posess any of the divine powers, but has a will of their own, free will.
Thus the cosmic order was set for the whole universe in all it's endlessness.
Chapter II: The Fate's exile
Time, set to be ever moving on, has passed and the worl got more complex. The clans prospered, but humans weren't content with their lack of dominion, and slowly they turned away from ancient beliefs and occupations, and focused on working out their own way of magic: technology they called it.
For several thousands of universal years this balance still subsisted. But the Guardians realised something was going out of control and this world wasn't quite theirs, it has got a life, mind and spirit of his own. It was a short time of internal conflict: The guardian of time refused to turn the cource of events back and change what happened, some were glad that their creation has developed itself, others were not. Finally, it was decided to let their people choose their fate themselves. And of course the humans chose independance. The Guardians decided to leave this world up to itself and observe if it can survive on it's own. Thus they leaft their mortal bodies, spirits subsisting in a dreamless sleep in some invisible realms of existance.
Chapter III: Awakenning
Life and time went on. Ancient legends were forgotten, the clans became secret and slowly lost their knowledge and power over the humans. But the human race spread it's wings all over the universe, : they learned to travel between the worlds without using the Space portals left by the Guardian of Space. Millenias later, noone believed in the Fate and it's servers.
Minor wars occured between different populations of humans, but piece was still there.
Until an opposition between the clan of Light and that of darkness took place. These are two opposited, though the Guardians of Lighta nd of Darkness are twins. Some humans joinde the light knights to fight the "universal evil", others were on the other side, seeking profit and power. The harmony of the wold was threatened...and therefore Azrael awaken from his sleep and his spirit found a mortal body for physical existance, for he posessed the power of ressurection of the Guardian of Death.
Chapter IV: Midnight and noon.
Yet, the Guardian of Mind still remaining asleep, the memory of Ancient times and knowledge of himself was inacessible to Azrael. And as the body that contained his spirit happened to be that of a human being supporting the Light clan.
He became the champion of light, and brought dominion over many territories to his people, considered as a heroe of that age.
But when he actually did encounter the dark knights, using the light powers wasn't enough to vanquish an adversary he was impressed and amaized by. And Azrael was killed, deprived of his enveloppe. But once he ressurected and his spirit made himself a new physical body, the memory of his past existance as a light knight remained. He realised there was something more in this world than what he was told about, facinated by the dark powers he wanted to learn more about this worl which has been unkniwn to him before. And the dark ones, suprised to face a coming back of an vanquished ennemy, agreed to open his eyes to their world.
Thus Azrael learned that a lot of the light servers teachings weren't the universal true he believed they were. And he joined the cause of the Drao orders, discovering this new power in him. The memory of having posessed this power still was unaccessible to him.
He took part in many battles and was to become a dark master. But he sacrificed his life in a fight against a battalion of light, to save his people. Ressurection followed by his body's reconstruction, which is a power granted by the domain of Light. Thus, though the council of the dark order was glad to have it's warrier back from the dead, realised there was light, and other hidden powers within him and he wasn't one of darkness.
And Azrael was banished from the dark clan, for betrayal.
Chapter V: Guardian of Grief
Thus, Azrael first refused to be part of the Light clan, and then was baniched by the dark ones.
Deprived of everything he has sworn to protect and love, broken by grief, he wanted to be gone from the world he once created, but no matter how hard he tried to find a way out of that existance, suicide didn't bring death to him, for only a living thing can die.
Stoke by the realisation of the fact that he does not belong to any of the existing species in that world, a question raised in his heart, and the only thing left was to search for what he actually is. Wanders across the universe brough him to ancient scripts, noone could ever read or understand where they came from. Still the language was known the The guardian od Harmony, and scripts spoke of Fate, of the circle,a nd his own former reign.
Slowly, memories of long ago came back to the tortured mind.
He learned what his place was but no longer wanted to fulfill the task that brought him into that world. He isolated himself, leaving the conflict between light and darkness go on.
Chapter VI: back to life
The approaching war was a great danger to the universe, all the life was threatened, for the forces of light and darkness, the two twin sides were ever equal. Azrael's refuse to save the world from this possible destruction was even more dangerous. This war would, he thought, destroy both clans, and the human race envolved in the conflict, the world would fall apart and his own existance would also seize.
But the disturbance in the world's harmony woke the sleeping forces of Light and darkness to the physical existance, thus Telrion the scion of light and Morrlan, the dark lord came back into their decaying world.
The twins will not only have to deal with their desobedient clans, and a universe invaded with human technology but also with Azrael's state of mind, for the Guardian of harmony, the Guardian of Grief is the only one to have the power to save the world's integrity and bring the ancient order back.
Chapter VII: Bounds of Blood (new!)
The main hendrance now standing before the awaken guardians of the worl is the weaking boud between them. The bound is what unites all the guardians and their makings in a symbiotic whole, assembling separate beings in one. But once long abo that bound was partly broken.
At th ebeginning of the world, whaen the Circle was youndg and unexperienced in creating living things, Azrael was the first to make osmething that has a will of it's own. They were the Firstcommers: the looked like the guardians, but were different, they thought, acted, decided, develloped without any action from their creator's part. And when the guardians realised that, they were taken by fear, of that unknown, that came from then, but didn't belong to them, that could create itself. Yet Azrael's love for his creations were stronger that this aprehension, he's pent a lot of time with them, ever amazed by what he saw. And he was like a child to them, an eternally-old child, who has an infinite number of things to learn, and they were teaching and loving him.
Still teh danger grew too important: the Firstcommers could bring ruin to the world the Guardians have created, they could make it as they wanted it to be, not how the Circle did. So the judgement was made, and the fistcommers were comdamned to disappear, and Azrael was to be the instrument of this, for only the creator could undo what he has done. Thus it was done, taring Azrael's heart apart,f or the very first time, though he himself didn't realise it. The bound between the creater and the created did allow him to destroy them, but it was like a self-distruction, hurting his far mor than it hurt them. Thus the first act of creation of life in the world ended.
Then came the Humans. It was decided that every Guardian should put a part of himself into them, and that they would only be a part of what the Guardians have imagined, no more, no less. And humans came into that world, and worshiped the Guardians, who lead them and tought them how to be. And those who were before - it was said that they are ought to be forgotten forever for the sake of this new and young race they were looking after.
Only Azrael didn't follow that oath, in secret, afraied that the same thing is meant to happen again as with thie Firstcommers, filled with fear of being oubliged to destroy a living part of his soul again, he broke the bound between himself and the Human Race.
And thus, without even knowing it, he broke the band that was relaying the whole Circle to the humans...and the bound between the Guardians were weakened, and started to break...
Вот пока на инглише, на ломаном с кучей очепяток, кому не жалко времени взгляните, стоит ли это развивать?
If I can find time to write it properly, in a develloped and a more poetical way, with some action, I'll post it as a deviation. For the moment it's just a story I had in mind fro ages and that's where my characters come from...
Chapter 1: Ancient times.
The 9 guardians existed before the world happend to be craeted, but they made an oath to forget what has been before. The 9 domains of nature are: Darkness, Light, Death, Life, Conflict, Time, Mind, Space, Harmony.
Each and every one of them has his own powers attached to his domain, that noone else can use, expept for the Guardian of Harmony, who has the power to reign on any domain, Azrael is the concentration of ultimate power but he has sworn to use it only in order to protect the integrity of their worl, the balance between it's parts.
Guardians are immortal spirits, but wear physical bodies that can die. Only the Guardain of Death has the power to set a new body for a spirit, if it's immortal.
Each Guardian has his own clan: a small population concentrated on one single world (star system) gifted with some powers of it's master, but still mortal. Azrael, as the Guardian of Harmony, has created the Human race: creatures that do not posess any of the divine powers, but has a will of their own, free will.
Thus the cosmic order was set for the whole universe in all it's endlessness.
Chapter II: The Fate's exile
Time, set to be ever moving on, has passed and the worl got more complex. The clans prospered, but humans weren't content with their lack of dominion, and slowly they turned away from ancient beliefs and occupations, and focused on working out their own way of magic: technology they called it.
For several thousands of universal years this balance still subsisted. But the Guardians realised something was going out of control and this world wasn't quite theirs, it has got a life, mind and spirit of his own. It was a short time of internal conflict: The guardian of time refused to turn the cource of events back and change what happened, some were glad that their creation has developed itself, others were not. Finally, it was decided to let their people choose their fate themselves. And of course the humans chose independance. The Guardians decided to leave this world up to itself and observe if it can survive on it's own. Thus they leaft their mortal bodies, spirits subsisting in a dreamless sleep in some invisible realms of existance.
Chapter III: Awakenning
Life and time went on. Ancient legends were forgotten, the clans became secret and slowly lost their knowledge and power over the humans. But the human race spread it's wings all over the universe, : they learned to travel between the worlds without using the Space portals left by the Guardian of Space. Millenias later, noone believed in the Fate and it's servers.
Minor wars occured between different populations of humans, but piece was still there.
Until an opposition between the clan of Light and that of darkness took place. These are two opposited, though the Guardians of Lighta nd of Darkness are twins. Some humans joinde the light knights to fight the "universal evil", others were on the other side, seeking profit and power. The harmony of the wold was threatened...and therefore Azrael awaken from his sleep and his spirit found a mortal body for physical existance, for he posessed the power of ressurection of the Guardian of Death.
Chapter IV: Midnight and noon.
Yet, the Guardian of Mind still remaining asleep, the memory of Ancient times and knowledge of himself was inacessible to Azrael. And as the body that contained his spirit happened to be that of a human being supporting the Light clan.
He became the champion of light, and brought dominion over many territories to his people, considered as a heroe of that age.
But when he actually did encounter the dark knights, using the light powers wasn't enough to vanquish an adversary he was impressed and amaized by. And Azrael was killed, deprived of his enveloppe. But once he ressurected and his spirit made himself a new physical body, the memory of his past existance as a light knight remained. He realised there was something more in this world than what he was told about, facinated by the dark powers he wanted to learn more about this worl which has been unkniwn to him before. And the dark ones, suprised to face a coming back of an vanquished ennemy, agreed to open his eyes to their world.
Thus Azrael learned that a lot of the light servers teachings weren't the universal true he believed they were. And he joined the cause of the Drao orders, discovering this new power in him. The memory of having posessed this power still was unaccessible to him.
He took part in many battles and was to become a dark master. But he sacrificed his life in a fight against a battalion of light, to save his people. Ressurection followed by his body's reconstruction, which is a power granted by the domain of Light. Thus, though the council of the dark order was glad to have it's warrier back from the dead, realised there was light, and other hidden powers within him and he wasn't one of darkness.
And Azrael was banished from the dark clan, for betrayal.
Chapter V: Guardian of Grief
Thus, Azrael first refused to be part of the Light clan, and then was baniched by the dark ones.
Deprived of everything he has sworn to protect and love, broken by grief, he wanted to be gone from the world he once created, but no matter how hard he tried to find a way out of that existance, suicide didn't bring death to him, for only a living thing can die.
Stoke by the realisation of the fact that he does not belong to any of the existing species in that world, a question raised in his heart, and the only thing left was to search for what he actually is. Wanders across the universe brough him to ancient scripts, noone could ever read or understand where they came from. Still the language was known the The guardian od Harmony, and scripts spoke of Fate, of the circle,a nd his own former reign.
Slowly, memories of long ago came back to the tortured mind.
He learned what his place was but no longer wanted to fulfill the task that brought him into that world. He isolated himself, leaving the conflict between light and darkness go on.
Chapter VI: back to life
The approaching war was a great danger to the universe, all the life was threatened, for the forces of light and darkness, the two twin sides were ever equal. Azrael's refuse to save the world from this possible destruction was even more dangerous. This war would, he thought, destroy both clans, and the human race envolved in the conflict, the world would fall apart and his own existance would also seize.
But the disturbance in the world's harmony woke the sleeping forces of Light and darkness to the physical existance, thus Telrion the scion of light and Morrlan, the dark lord came back into their decaying world.
The twins will not only have to deal with their desobedient clans, and a universe invaded with human technology but also with Azrael's state of mind, for the Guardian of harmony, the Guardian of Grief is the only one to have the power to save the world's integrity and bring the ancient order back.
Chapter VII: Bounds of Blood (new!)
The main hendrance now standing before the awaken guardians of the worl is the weaking boud between them. The bound is what unites all the guardians and their makings in a symbiotic whole, assembling separate beings in one. But once long abo that bound was partly broken.
At th ebeginning of the world, whaen the Circle was youndg and unexperienced in creating living things, Azrael was the first to make osmething that has a will of it's own. They were the Firstcommers: the looked like the guardians, but were different, they thought, acted, decided, develloped without any action from their creator's part. And when the guardians realised that, they were taken by fear, of that unknown, that came from then, but didn't belong to them, that could create itself. Yet Azrael's love for his creations were stronger that this aprehension, he's pent a lot of time with them, ever amazed by what he saw. And he was like a child to them, an eternally-old child, who has an infinite number of things to learn, and they were teaching and loving him.
Still teh danger grew too important: the Firstcommers could bring ruin to the world the Guardians have created, they could make it as they wanted it to be, not how the Circle did. So the judgement was made, and the fistcommers were comdamned to disappear, and Azrael was to be the instrument of this, for only the creator could undo what he has done. Thus it was done, taring Azrael's heart apart,f or the very first time, though he himself didn't realise it. The bound between the creater and the created did allow him to destroy them, but it was like a self-distruction, hurting his far mor than it hurt them. Thus the first act of creation of life in the world ended.
Then came the Humans. It was decided that every Guardian should put a part of himself into them, and that they would only be a part of what the Guardians have imagined, no more, no less. And humans came into that world, and worshiped the Guardians, who lead them and tought them how to be. And those who were before - it was said that they are ought to be forgotten forever for the sake of this new and young race they were looking after.
Only Azrael didn't follow that oath, in secret, afraied that the same thing is meant to happen again as with thie Firstcommers, filled with fear of being oubliged to destroy a living part of his soul again, he broke the bound between himself and the Human Race.
And thus, without even knowing it, he broke the band that was relaying the whole Circle to the humans...and the bound between the Guardians were weakened, and started to break...
Комментарии:
Kat_St
09:25 29-08-2005
а на русском не хотелось? Ладно, будем тренировать английский на фиках ^^". Только чуть позже...
Valynne
23:40 29-08-2005
Хммм.. Читается так, как будто это краткое содержание фантастического сериала какого-нить. Со всеми вытекающими. Это бы все обрастить подробностями, было бы очень круто.
И еще не очень понял, почему вдруг Свет и Тьма передрались, а Жизнь и Смерть - нет. Хотя... Неисповедимы пути авторской фантазии
Потом... Если есть "Конфликт" как одна из основ мироздания, то по идее ВСЕ, и в частности между светом и тьмой, конфликты должны происходить с легкой руки соответствующего Guardian'а. Хотя это мелочь, наверно.
Еще побольше резких сюжетных поворотов, а то все как-то очень предсказуемо.
А так... Развивать стоит, если самой писать интересно, ятд.
И еще не очень понял, почему вдруг Свет и Тьма передрались, а Жизнь и Смерть - нет. Хотя... Неисповедимы пути авторской фантазии
Потом... Если есть "Конфликт" как одна из основ мироздания, то по идее ВСЕ, и в частности между светом и тьмой, конфликты должны происходить с легкой руки соответствующего Guardian'а. Хотя это мелочь, наверно.
Еще побольше резких сюжетных поворотов, а то все как-то очень предсказуемо.
А так... Развивать стоит, если самой писать интересно, ятд.
00:43 30-08-2005
Ilufus хмм да это и есть краткое содержание моего бреда)
Вообще-то просто народы каждого хранителя развивались не с одинковой скоростью, некоторые скорее вымерали. А вот Тьма и Свет занимают одну нишу и находятся на одном уровне развития к моменту действий.
Конфликт да моя честно говоря еще сомнивается насчет включения оного в "круг" ...но соответствующий хранитель находится в любом случае в спячке поэтому легко произтекать оно не может-с.Да сюжета еще нат как такового, ни действия. Это скорее описание ситуации и этого Мира в общих чертах, которое нужно включить в историю тем или иным способом если это будет действительно писаться как таковая.
Вообще-то просто народы каждого хранителя развивались не с одинковой скоростью, некоторые скорее вымерали. А вот Тьма и Свет занимают одну нишу и находятся на одном уровне развития к моменту действий.
Конфликт да моя честно говоря еще сомнивается насчет включения оного в "круг" ...но соответствующий хранитель находится в любом случае в спячке поэтому легко произтекать оно не может-с.Да сюжета еще нат как такового, ни действия. Это скорее описание ситуации и этого Мира в общих чертах, которое нужно включить в историю тем или иным способом если это будет действительно писаться как таковая.
Valynne
00:56 30-08-2005
ML Spectre это не мир, это юниверс целый ))
вообще так напоминает смесь Дозоров с Сильмариллионом, не то чтобы это плохо, скорее хорошо, но как-то немножко оригинальности не хватает. Ноу оффенс.
Если включить Конфликт в действие - значит, практически, поставить Тьму и Свет под его контроль, т.к. воюют они или нет - зависит от Конфликта. Таким образом можно вывести противостояние Тьмы и Света (заезженное) на новый виток за счет того, что такая борьба заведомо разрушительна для человечества (или нет?), а т.к. Азраэль печется о своих подопечных, то, соответственно, он должен противостоять Конфликту, что уже менее заезженно. Естественно, изначально создается впечатление, что Тьма и Свет воюют сами по себе, но в процессе выясняется, что не все так просто, вот вам и какой-никакой, а сюжетный поворот.
Вот.
Это я так, теоретизирую. Типа "А как бы сделал я"
Хм. Хотя вообще, наверно, Конфликт - это по сути Хаос, а Chaos vs. Harmony - это тоже заезженно. Чорт.
Стравить бы Тьму со Смертью, например... ^^
вообще так напоминает смесь Дозоров с Сильмариллионом, не то чтобы это плохо, скорее хорошо, но как-то немножко оригинальности не хватает. Ноу оффенс.
Если включить Конфликт в действие - значит, практически, поставить Тьму и Свет под его контроль, т.к. воюют они или нет - зависит от Конфликта. Таким образом можно вывести противостояние Тьмы и Света (заезженное) на новый виток за счет того, что такая борьба заведомо разрушительна для человечества (или нет?), а т.к. Азраэль печется о своих подопечных, то, соответственно, он должен противостоять Конфликту, что уже менее заезженно. Естественно, изначально создается впечатление, что Тьма и Свет воюют сами по себе, но в процессе выясняется, что не все так просто, вот вам и какой-никакой, а сюжетный поворот.
Вот.
Это я так, теоретизирую. Типа "А как бы сделал я"
Хм. Хотя вообще, наверно, Конфликт - это по сути Хаос, а Chaos vs. Harmony - это тоже заезженно. Чорт.
Стравить бы Тьму со Смертью, например... ^^
14:32 30-08-2005
Ilufus нет это смесь Legacy of Kain & Star Wars, честное ситское, лол.
Не тьма и смерть это совсем разное... все таки Хранитель смерти отвечает за смертность людей и прочих одушивленных существ и "пердметов", с течением времени, и как таковую. За переработку душ, чтоли, за возможность не-существования чего-то созданного. А Тьма это стихия, старшая чтоли, так как существовала как понятие до появления людей... да тут соовсем не в противостоянии стихий,фишка, это - вроде декора для действия, который объясняет те или иный выборы персоонажей.
Не тьма и смерть это совсем разное... все таки Хранитель смерти отвечает за смертность людей и прочих одушивленных существ и "пердметов", с течением времени, и как таковую. За переработку душ, чтоли, за возможность не-существования чего-то созданного. А Тьма это стихия, старшая чтоли, так как существовала как понятие до появления людей... да тут соовсем не в противостоянии стихий,фишка, это - вроде декора для действия, который объясняет те или иный выборы персоонажей.
Valynne
15:51 30-08-2005
ML Spectre хмм... просто конкретно в этом фике никаких особенных выборов персонажей нету А как раз противостояние стихий замечено. Но раз суть не в нем... Значит, надо раскрывать, в чем она на самом деле, потому как иначе непонятно)
А как раз противостояние стихий замечено. Но раз суть не в нем... Значит, надо раскрывать, в чем она на самом деле, потому как иначе непонятно)
16:34 30-08-2005
Ilufus естесстно, я же повторяю: это не фик, это именно общаа информация о мире и его истории, где произходит дело. Я пока даже об основных персоонажах не упонимала, ну кроме Ази и бессмертной компании.
Valynne
18:02 30-08-2005
ML Spectre так а вся проблема в том, продолжать это или нет? Ну продолжать ессно)
Ну продолжать ессно)