Back to finland from spain. Got my cousin brother here. Having a good time, basically. During the flight back yesterday we had a hurricane above germany. the plain was shaking as if it had landed on a russian road. Feeling like kinder surprise 10000 meters above ground n' about to fall, listening to natalie imbruglia and thinkin of everything that came to mind i cought myself making a conclusion that if i crash my only emotion will be a touch of regret. No fear n' no willing to cry.

In spain i managed to become completely different from what i used to be yet about 2 months ago. The way i feel- confident and sometimes even positive, provided by a slight tolerance in talking, always ready to make friends with any person i want. Paranoy or some other psychical damage is what seems to make me take care of my character that way. God make me be wrong, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!

Have a birthday on monday. 01.08. Getting sixteen. Say my name! I'm a grown-up. It was quite a surprise, i guess, for everyone. But thats the way it should be. I've been waiting for it. Now i'll be getting loads of life experience, wich i think whill be the right thing for me.

Now it's getting late n' i've only had a 5-hour sleep last night so would u please excuse me for misprints, senceless shit and speaking english.



P.S. In the book bout Tshaikovski i have read in spain there was written, that he always wrote letters thinkin that someday the next generations would be reading all that he had written. That's exactly how i always feel when i write anything here. That's why i cannot just relax and write what i want and then everything i have written is some senceless shit that i will always be embarraced to show to anyone.

Bye and good night.