My world is crashing and i can`t do anything with it. The earth seems to be going lower and lower and i can`t say that i`m flying in the sky above. A part of life that`s always been vitally important is no more. Or seems to be no more - hope yet still lives. Whether i need that hope is another question.

Something... Somebody that was my shoulder to cry on, somebody of the people around me to ever understand fully is turning away from me. Is it because of disbeliefs or is it just easier for him that way - that knowledge i do not posess. I wish i did to understand and forgive.

Friends, buddies, lads, lovers. Everything in a very special mix, that is above most of what can be in a life. Broken into pieces? Crashed? Maybe, simply of misunderstandings and illusions that one builds within self. Maybe, talking oneself into it for a long time. And in any way - it is of course easier. Forgetting and leaving only strictly structurized memories of good - or bad, so it would be even easier to forget everything else? Wish i knew and could at least try to explain.

I know only one thing: for now - i believe... And i will not forget.