Why am i feeling so fucked up, am i really? Or is it just that self-defence mechanism defending me from feeling normal... not sure. a couple of times i wrote things in english and cought myself writing in rhymed verses, so i wrote poems about nothing. i am fucked up and locked down, one preventing me from drowning in another. my issues are my world. no one can help me out but myself n i just don't have enough courage to try. the less i consider things, the worse it becomes; the more I consider things, the worse it becomes. i have no choice though, i should resign n start dying slowly now. i cannot live being like that anymore. i am desperate for a change. no change i cant change i cant change i cant change, i am here in my mind, but i'm the 1 same person from one day to the next - i cant change my mind..

nononononooo